Challenging or hard times are an inevitable part of being alive; it comes along with the territory of breathing. They range from self-created challenges to those that just couldn’t have been avoided. No matter the source of a “problem” or situation as I’d rather call it, we have the freedom to deal with it in a way that magnifies the negative energy of it all or empowers us. This is not to said in any way “just get over it” or that this is an easy mentality to have and maintain. It is to say after you spend the time building your own personal formula, challenging and hard situations/times will be just that. Not something that gets you completely derailed, makes you give up or lose faith in the foundations of your life.
So! On to this formula. In math you can’t learn how to do long division without understanding the fundamentals of math like multiplication, addition and subtraction. In the same way, you won’t be able to effectively come up with personal equations (ways to keep yourself grounded and on track in life) until you have spend the time and energy to understand who you are. The fundamentals. Getting to know YOU including the light, dark and just plain uncomfortable is the first thing to guide your attention to when building your formula.
Once you have a handle and genuine understanding for you, you can start adding in external factors that are relevant to your formula. “Yeah… so what does that mean exactly?” It means every one and every life situation is different. So what are factors for you may not be for me and vice versa. For the sake of this conversation, factors will be referring to 2 things. The “external factors” are anything outside of you that you deal with in your immediate reality: where you live, who you live with, your job, your height, society and its views on xyz. These can be things that we may be able to change, but will require a lot of work and dedication. The “internal factors” here will be an infinite amount of things that you will continue to build on as you get to know yourself more and more intimately. Again, they will range from light to dark and everywhere in between. Some examples can be:
Light (The empowering elements)
- Music calms me
- I have a couple of really great people in my life, that when I connect with help me feel
- When I spend time alone I can quiet myself to help me reach solutions
- Artistic expression grounds me
- Reading and practicing xyz reminds me that I can do anything I put my heart to
Dark (The negatives to your equation)
- I drink to temporarily emotionally escape from challenging or painful situations
- When people close to me let me down, I completely shut down to the world
- I’ve settled in my life
Somewhere in between…(knowing how to balance yourself)
- When I don’t get enough sleep I tend to be really cranky and impatient
- When I go 2 days without doing something for myself I am really negative
- I am more positive than the people I associate with
- When I am really challenged, I can healthily deal with it if I let myself “give in” for a day and commit myself to pick myself up after I have had time to feel whatever is bothering me.
Each list of factors will always be expanding as you continue to know you. The power of sitting down and knowing what causes what in you, is that once you have a firm understanding of this, facing hard times becomes that much easier. You realize that YOU have everything you need, that there is no lack in you. At worst case scenario, you are maybe overlooking something or putting the wrong factors in place to help you gain balance on that situation. When you are able to balance out your negative tendencies (and eventually negate them) with those that empower you, you will realize the things that matter from the ones that don’t. And when life hits the fan, it may still hurt, but there will be a serene part of you that understands that this is a hard time, yes it hurts, but l can make it beyond this challenge.